TIP: Stop limiting yourself by what you believe.

Ever found yourself saying "I can't do that", and then finding you didn't succeed? More insidious are some other limiting beliefs, such as: "I believe I'm selfish, "I need do things because I need approval", "I'm not not interesting", "I'm shy", " being hard on myself is good for me"...
We all have some limiting beliefs, some people managed theirs out of their lives, others realise they have them and are limited by them, whilst some people don't even realise they have them (and are limited by them).

The subconscious will automatically trigger a limiting belief when it thinks you need protecting! The result, you don't do as well as you hoped, the belief becomes stronger and the subconcious "protects" you even more the next time!!

Limiting beliefs can be changed, first start to recognise them for what they are; list them, along with where you got them from, who gave them to you, how much they cost you and how much better your life would be if you changed that belief. This is the first step to reprogramming the subconscious so you can have useful beliefs to replace them.

Then re-frame your limiting belief, write it down, read it to yourself look for evidence that reinforces your new belief and keep reminding yourself of the new belief.

Last year I needed to change the one that said "I'm too old to leave a secure job and start my own coaching company"; it ended up as "this is the perfect age to change and I bring years of coaching experience from my corporate history with me". The rest is history!

Don't try to solve them all at once, but start looking out for those limiting beliefs and have a great month,

TIP "Time" management

I coach a wide variety of clients on a variety of subjects; many business related (communications being a common theme), often more personal issues (self confidence being a common one).
One topic that frequently comes up is "time management". Firstly, that's a stupid name for it; you can't manage time, only yourself! So from now on be more honest and call it "self management".


"Oh but I've read time management books before", well here are 3 tips, but don't JUST read them, take an action and get back some time.

Have a great month, with more spare time to start getting ready for Christmas!!!

Jon


Procrastination
Putting things off wastes your time, but more importantly your energy and thoughts. Most people I know who procrastinate spend their time thinking and worrying about they’ve not decided on! Then they give themselves a hard time for not deciding.
In the end the crunch time arrives and what you've been procrastinating over will still have to be done. Break that procrastination cycle, save your self time now. You know what you're procrastinating over, make your decision and move on.


"Me" time
Periodically you need to step back, evaluate and re- energise yourself to be effective. I know many people that 'try' to do more and more, thinking they're using their time better; the result is normally becoming less productive and not working on what's most important.
You waste time when you keep doing, doing, doing, without time for just being and listening to your inner wisdom. Just take just 5 minutes each day, sit and do nothing, allow your unconscious mind to help you. You CAN find 5 minutes, it will save you time.


De-clutter your life
Clutter zaps your energy and leaves you less able to work effectively; and it wastes time as you try to sort it.
I know several people who look through the same clutter time and again. It’s a distraction; anything that distracts isn’t an effective way to spend your time. De-cluttering will give you back time.
Take 30 seconds, list down 5 things that are cluttering your life either physically or mentally. Choose the one that is the easiest to deal with, decide how you'll deal with it and by when, write it down and then put that plan into action.


I CHALLENGE YOU...

Now you have some more clarity about the time wasters in your life, you can make a choice about what, if anything, you want to do about them. Without action nothing will change; if you eliminate the time wasters you've identified today you will gain time.
My challenge to you today is to pick one specific thing and then define the specific action you're going to take today to start getting back your time.
If you want the other 5 top self management tips, email me and I'll send them to you; but get started on saving you time, today.

TIP: A timeline exercise (day dreaming is good)

I coach a wide variety of clients on a variety of subjects; many business related (communications being a common theme), often more personal issues (self confidence being a common one).
One topic that frequently comes up is achieving what you want - getting your goals. This months tip is a technique that often gets fantastic results.

"Daydreaming your future reality" may sound odd; but I urge you to try it, it can be very powerful. Do it, don't just read it!! What have you got to lose?


Step 1: Sit peacefully and allow yourself to think about your goal; list down all the reasons you want it, then put them in order.
Step 2: Still sitting comfortably think in detail about what you have today, before you get your goal. Think about how it feels, sounds, smells, is there a picture you can see in your head? Let yourself be immersed in the current reality, remember why you want this goal.
Step 3: Stand up take four steps forwards; now dream about the future reality - what is it like once you've achieved your goal. Can you picture yourself having achieved it; what does it sounds like, are there any smells or tastes? Notice these feelings and which ones you can make stronger, more vibrant, brighter, bigger. Make them bigger, brighter, more vibrant, turn up the volume. Enjoy being there for a minute.
Step 4: Now turn round and face where you were sitting; let your unconscious mind notice what it needs to know about and help you do in order to achieve your goal. Visualise the steps you went through to get to this fantastic future position, especially remember the first step!
Step 5: Now step back to the present, remembering those key things you need to do, how good it was to be there and TAKE THE FIRST STEP.

TIP: Re-balance your life

Our lives are much happier and more fulfilled if they contain a balance of the core things that are important to us within them. When this is true one has more energy, passion and can see things much more clearly.
I recently realised once again the importance of this for myself (example below), so decided to share this tip.
In coaching this is often called "the wheel of life", my version puts a bit more definition on it; but the key benefit is a simple snapshot of your life allowing you to hear clearly what is going on and focus on key actions. It almost seems to obvious and too simple to be true; but it does work, as I recently remembered.

Repeating the exercise each month keeps that focus; you may find that your key categories change over time (which in itself may provide some insight into your life).

Action:

• Consider the 6-7 key areas in your life (more than this and they're not really key), list them and beside each describe what perfection would be like at this stage of your life. There are some example categories below.
• Write down a score for each section, where 10 means you have that perfection, and 1 means you're a long way from it.
• Reflect on this and see what this simple snapshot of your life is telling you, are there 1 or 2 actions that you feel you should take?
• Ideally the scores should be fairly balanced, are there are a couple of sections with much lower scores?
• If so plan 1 simple action that you can take today for the sections which are below the others; then plan a follow up action that will take place over the next week and perhaps another for the next month.
• Ensure the actions are within your control, commit to doing them, and DO THEM. Remember "ideas won't keep, something has to be done about them" (Alfred Whitbread)

For the 6-7 areas you need to choose those that are key to you, not what you think others want of you, possible categories are: Friends , Social life, Work, Love live, relationships, home, hobbies, fitness, fun, family, outdoors, relaxation, living with nature, mental agility, create.

Example:

A couple of weeks ago I had been feeling tired, lethargic and had lost sight of where I was going, reading this now it sounds almost like I was going down with the flu. After a couple of days I realised that I didn't have a life threatening disease, but needed to take the advice that I often hand out to clients - look at the balance in my life, and take some steps to rectify it.

This simple overview showed me really clearly that whilst I had 8 or 9 in most areas, "fun and friends" and "home" were way down at 5. It was a great insight, a couple of simple actions and I was soon feeling like firing on all cylinders again; that night I invited a load of friends to a barbecue, and over the next few days finished off the DIY in the bathroom that needed to be done before they all came round!

We had a great evening, behaved like children (well some of us) and barbecued pineapple in rum butter is gorgeous!

Any feedback appreciated, I hope it's a helpful tip, call me if you want to discuss it in any more detail.

Jon

Begining and endings; part 2

and a day later, it's still sunny. Two more ended today and I feel really great, never in my life have I felt so honoured and motivated at somebody saying goodbye.
Is this what it's like when ones' child finally leaves home?

At the same time the excitement as I start to work with somebody new; the joint feeling of possiblities, for all the things we'll acheive over the next few weeks.

The beginning and the end

I just love the feeling when a client relationship "ends" (except it never really does). Over a few weeks you've got to know something of them, understand their frustrations, hopes and aspirations and been honoured to help them work towards them.
Then, like setting a butterfly free, you both know that the time has come; tonight was no exception, happy reflections on the changes you've helped somebody to make in their life. The excited conversation as we realised that her life has made tremendous changes and that the support I had been giving was no longer needed.
At the same time you also know that bond never really breaks, it's great to hear from old clients every now and again; great to know that they have soared up into the wind and are flying as high as they choose.
The begining? Well my first blog, of course!