Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Difficult conversations

This months development thought is around difficult conversations. You know the ones you really start to dread and then mess them up!

The fll transcript of it is at:

Have fun,

Monday, April 16, 2007

Leaders and values

This months development thought is around leadership skills; there are positive leadership traits that we could all show, that would improve ourselves. One example of this is how we feel good by inspiring others.

A good leader acknowledges indivi
duals' values without judgement or criticism. Values are key, and individual to each of us. Look and listen for the values of those around you.

People use their values to judge whether they've done a well, or badly at things; so when you want somebody to really appreciate your praise think about how you can link your praise with their values. You'll be encouraging them to praise themselves, as well as accept your praise.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Great icebreaker, fun and discover something

Ever wondered how to get a group of people to mix a bit more and have some fun - let alone learn something about each other?

This month's tip is a very simple exercise that works very well with a group of more than 4 people, up to any size you care to try. It works well as an ice breaker in teams that know each other, or don't!

Give each person a post it note and a pen. They must write two truths and one lie about themselves on the note, stick it onto their back and move around the room. As they go round the room they read other peoples notes and put a tick beside the one they think is a lie on the other persons note.

After a few minutes where everybody always end up laughing at some of the incredible things that get written, it's time to work out the winner. The winner is the one with the fewest ticks beside their lie, as their truths must have been the most preposterous.

See what you can find out about people you though you knew. If you have any questions about this, or any other of the monthly tips, don't hesitate to call or email me. Good luck getting to know people better,


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Questions and answers

Questioning and listening to the answer are two really important parts of understanding somebody else. To get somebody to change is normally easier if you understand them.
Many people were taught about the 5 W's, why, who, what, where and when; so remember to use them, BUT don't use why!!

What, where, when and who are easier factual questions to answer, and don't imply that the person being questioned is wrong. These can give great information that you can work with.

When asked WHY the first typical response to to justify oneself, immediately this means that the person is closing down. In NLP terms the why questions goes straight to the realms of beliefs and values, which are close to the core of the person; the other 4 W questions deal more with behaviours, environment and capability, all of which are less threatening.

Make a change with your questioning and get to know more.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

There is no failure...

I've listened to quite a few people recently who have talked about "failing" to do something (new year resolutions being a typical one!).
Worrying about failure keeps you focussed on the past and on the problems. If you examine withe results you've already got, even if they're not what you wanted, you can focus on possibilities and move forwards.
In NLP (neuro linguistic programming) there is a basic presupposition "There is no failure, only feedback". This is a very powerful statement that can make a lot of difference to your life. You can choose whether to be waylaid by the undesirable results or learning lessons to help you move forwards.
So when faced with "failure", ask yourself the following questions, and allow yourself to grow by listening to the answers.
What am I aiming to achieve?; what have I achieved so far?; what feedback have I had?; what lessons have I learned?; how can I put those lessons to good use?; how will I measure my success next time?
Then go for it again, but with new information.
If you have any questions about this, or any other of the monthly tips, don't hesitate to call or email me. Good luck with any feedback you may be lucky enough to get,


Friday, January 12, 2007

New year resolutions

At this time of year many people start to think about new year resolutions, which often last about 2 weeks into the next year.
Setting goals is a central part of coaching, and how you go about this can radically affect your chance of success.
Get a really clear picture in your head of what you want (NOT what you don't want); really work on the picture - turn up the colour, play with the brightness, size and sounds till it becomes more motivational.
What phrase will help you conjure up that picture, as you'll want to revisit it regularly if you're to succeed in getting your goal. The phrase needs to be short and phrased positively, in the present tense. For example "I am a confident person", would be much better than "I will become confident".
Set yourself small steps that you can achieve, rather than one giant task which will seem too daunting. Celebrate success with each of the steps you achieve, that's one step closer to your ultimate goal. Most importantly write it all down, and re-read it regularly.
These are key pointers from the overall goal setting process; the January workshop contains much more about it, or go online and order my free goal setting booklet (link below).
I wish you every success with your new year resolution, and a very happy new year.


Monday, November 13, 2006

TIP: Stop limiting yourself by what you believe.

Ever found yourself saying "I can't do that", and then finding you didn't succeed? More insidious are some other limiting beliefs, such as: "I believe I'm selfish, "I need do things because I need approval", "I'm not not interesting", "I'm shy", " being hard on myself is good for me"...
We all have some limiting beliefs, some people managed theirs out of their lives, others realise they have them and are limited by them, whilst some people don't even realise they have them (and are limited by them).

The subconscious will automatically trigger a limiting belief when it thinks you need protecting! The result, you don't do as well as you hoped, the belief becomes stronger and the subconcious "protects" you even more the next time!!

Limiting beliefs can be changed, first start to recognise them for what they are; list them, along with where you got them from, who gave them to you, how much they cost you and how much better your life would be if you changed that belief. This is the first step to reprogramming the subconscious so you can have useful beliefs to replace them.

Then re-frame your limiting belief, write it down, read it to yourself look for evidence that reinforces your new belief and keep reminding yourself of the new belief.

Last year I needed to change the one that said "I'm too old to leave a secure job and start my own coaching company"; it ended up as "this is the perfect age to change and I bring years of coaching experience from my corporate history with me". The rest is history!

Don't try to solve them all at once, but start looking out for those limiting beliefs and have a great month,

TIP "Time" management

I coach a wide variety of clients on a variety of subjects; many business related (communications being a common theme), often more personal issues (self confidence being a common one).
One topic that frequently comes up is "time management". Firstly, that's a stupid name for it; you can't manage time, only yourself! So from now on be more honest and call it "self management".

"Oh but I've read time management books before", well here are 3 tips, but don't JUST read them, take an action and get back some time.

Have a great month, with more spare time to start getting ready for Christmas!!!


Putting things off wastes your time, but more importantly your energy and thoughts. Most people I know who procrastinate spend their time thinking and worrying about they’ve not decided on! Then they give themselves a hard time for not deciding.
In the end the crunch time arrives and what you've been procrastinating over will still have to be done. Break that procrastination cycle, save your self time now. You know what you're procrastinating over, make your decision and move on.

"Me" time
Periodically you need to step back, evaluate and re- energise yourself to be effective. I know many people that 'try' to do more and more, thinking they're using their time better; the result is normally becoming less productive and not working on what's most important.
You waste time when you keep doing, doing, doing, without time for just being and listening to your inner wisdom. Just take just 5 minutes each day, sit and do nothing, allow your unconscious mind to help you. You CAN find 5 minutes, it will save you time.

De-clutter your life
Clutter zaps your energy and leaves you less able to work effectively; and it wastes time as you try to sort it.
I know several people who look through the same clutter time and again. It’s a distraction; anything that distracts isn’t an effective way to spend your time. De-cluttering will give you back time.
Take 30 seconds, list down 5 things that are cluttering your life either physically or mentally. Choose the one that is the easiest to deal with, decide how you'll deal with it and by when, write it down and then put that plan into action.


Now you have some more clarity about the time wasters in your life, you can make a choice about what, if anything, you want to do about them. Without action nothing will change; if you eliminate the time wasters you've identified today you will gain time.
My challenge to you today is to pick one specific thing and then define the specific action you're going to take today to start getting back your time.
If you want the other 5 top self management tips, email me and I'll send them to you; but get started on saving you time, today.